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Saturday, May 11, 2013

Elena Lets Her Guard Down


Elena raised her face, soggy and wrinkled, from the cushion sustaining her brief nap.
Ten years whooshed past.
Once she sat up, all pins and needles, they thumped back down in her lap.
 
33 words for  including at least one example of onomatopoeia.
 

38 comments:

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    1. Sometimes my reality is just too real. Thanks, Sam!

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  2. Yeah, way to keep it real, yo. Great last part.

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    1. Haha. Stupid reality. Thanks, Lance!

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  3. Boom! That's a heavy load...well done!

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    1. Ha! Heavier and heavier. Thanks, Maggie!

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    1. You would think so, wouldn't you? Thanks for reading, Ann!

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  5. I've woken up from an errant couch nap before and thought "Wait a minute. What the heck happened?" love the last part and the relatable feeling.

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    1. Exactly! Glad you could relate. Thanks, Gina!

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  6. Some sort of fugue or coma? Or something more symbolic? Either way, great piece!

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    1. Draug, Draug, Draug. Sometimes I forget how young you are!
      Thanks for trying to get me anyway!

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  7. I hate the pins and needles feeling, but even more, I hate it when unwelcome reality comes crashing back. Loved this one, Kymm!

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    1. Yeah, pins and needles go away. Unwelcome reality not so much. Thanks for the love, Valerie!

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  8. Amazing amount of story in 33 words and great use of onomatopoeia. Nicely done and congrats on the win.

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    1. Thank you so much for those kind words, lumdog!

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  9. When reality comes back - that's worse than the pins and needles!

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  10. Kymm, this is just wonderful. Of course I want to know more. There's a lot going on around that nap.

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    1. Ten years worth... Thank you so much, Linda!

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  11. youch - hate those pins & needles - someone really should clean them up!

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    1. Hahaha. Someone else, though. Thanks, Jody!

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  12. I hate whooshing years! Move way too fast for my liking. Beautiful!

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    1. They just keep whooshing faster and faster, don't they? Thanks, Tina!

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  13. "Soggy and wrinkled" God, I know that feeling. Would it were that naps actually let us sleep the years away.

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    1. Wouldn't that be wonderful?! On the other hand, they do. Thanks for reading, Jennifer!

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  14. The weight of years - so miserable and heavy.

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    1. Weightier and weightier, yup. Thanks for reading, Sarah!

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    2. that was exactly the feeling I got, feeling the weight of years along with your character. well done!

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    3. Thank you, Jenna. And thanks for the visit.

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    1. I never was much of a nap person myself. Thanks for reading, Björn!

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  16. Love the way the pins & needles brings her back to reality:-)Excellent piece Kymm and congrats on your awesome win last week:-)

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    1. Thank you so much, Atreyee! For your encouragement and congrats.

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  17. Love that last line Kymm (especially the pins and needles bit)! I can so relate to this. Great job with the prompt!

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    1. Not sure if I should be glad or sorry you can relate - haha. Thanks for the love, Suzanne!

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