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Monday, February 10, 2014

The Third Date

She languished in his arms, her eyes sparkling. With tender lips, whispered yearnings, he spoke her name. Her sighs choked to a gasp as he rose to leave. “My wife will be waiting.”


33 words for  about love gone wrong.  But none of them are: love, sad, tears, wept, heart or pain.

This weekend's challenge is community judged. For the 48 hours following the close of the challenge, voting will be enabled on links.  In order to vote, return to this post where stars will appear next to each link. To vote, simply click the star that corresponds with your favorite post. You can vote for your top three favorite posts. Voting is open to everyone.

71 comments:

  1. You've captured well the hurt and angst of loving someone you cannot have...

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    1. That's lovely to hear. Thank you, Rebecca!

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    1. Dumping will happen... lol Thank you, Ally!!

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  3. What a prick... two people deceived... he deserve loneliness

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    1. Fish gotta swim, bird gotta fly... Thanks for your indignation, Björn!

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  4. Bjorn's comment made me chuckle. Loneliness would be just, though :)

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    1. Haha Loneliness won't be his lot, I'm afraid, but probably hers. Thanks, Janna!

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  5. Ouch. Too close to home, but still, Brilliant!

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    1. I'm always too close to home for my own good, but sorry this one's close to yours : (
      Still, thank you very much, Troy!

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  6. Beautiful! The pain is so raw and evident here.

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    1. And it's only just begun... Thank you, Yeshasvi!

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    1. Hahaha Right??? They've already got their latex gloves, what more do they want!?

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    2. Oh Tara that made me laugh this morning.

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  8. Totally deserves to be dumped by both! Very well-crafted Kymm. Nice one!

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    1. Deserving, maybe, but it so rarely happens that way. You are very kind, thank you, SD!

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  9. Sounds like a man who gets pleasure from having his cake and eating it too. Nice story.

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    1. Haha If that were the case, who wouldn't??
      Thank you, Michelle!

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  10. Ah...such a gentle scene, at first. And then...the sudden, jarring mention of the wife. Is this where she learns about the wife, I wonder?

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    1. That's exactly how it's supposed to feel, Kelly. You're right on target : )

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  11. And here I was ready for a passionate love! Quite the disarming twist- marriage can be a slight hindrance when forming a new love, haha.

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    1. Oh, I love disarming! Haha, yes a hindrance. Thanks for your passion, Renada!

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  12. I loved the twist in this tale Kymm. The sudden jolt from passion to deceit.

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    1. So glad the jolting works. Thanks for the love, Mike!

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  13. This is a gem, Kymm, and it proves the old adage that honesty is the best policy. (And honesty after sex is even better-or at least smarter.) ;) Once again, you never disappoint!

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    1. Funny you should say that, Valerie. I used to want honesty up front. Now I'd just as soon the sex came first, then let the honesty kick in if it must.
      It makes me exceedingly happy to not disappoint you. Thank you, sweetie!

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  14. Gets my vote for 'languished'. Bloody love that word! Great ending, Kymm! Don't forget to come back and vote!

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    1. Well, Tri, you take away all those words, and we need to get our fix!
      Thank you for your kind words : )

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  15. Oh, oh! I'm a sucker for the word "languished", too. The ending was a shocker even though I knew bad stuff was supposed to happen! Greta job, kymm.

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    1. And I'm a sucker for such enthusiastic comments. Thank you, Gina!!

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  16. Love the set up of the scene...but what a heat break. That deceiver deserves whatever happens once those two women get together. Good one Kymm!

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    1. Don't know that those two even live in the same universe... Thanks for the love, Glynis!

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  17. That last line cut deep after the first sentence set up such a loving scene. Ouch!

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    1. Don't mean to hurt anyone, but loving that it cuts deep. Thank you, Tina!!

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  18. Guy's a jerk. Hope she dumps him. Funny thing is, you managed to make me care in 33 words. Wow. Well done.

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    1. Gives me shivers to hear that. Thank you, Garrison!!

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  19. You made me want so much to believe everything would be perfect between them, but I knew the outcome would be pain. Achingly sad but wonderful writing.

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    1. I'm so pleased to hear that. It was just that feeling I was after. Thank you, Lisa!

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  20. What a complete ass!!! OMG! His wife???? That is one clever write ma'am. Well done!!!

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    1. Haha So glad you got caught up in the story. Thanks, Kathy!

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  21. Oh, I liked where this was heading. I knew something would screw it up, though (no pun intended). After all, love had to go wrong this week. :) Let's hope the wife gets a facebook message, phone call or email from his other woman. That would serve him right!

    Wonderful storytelling in just 33 words.

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    1. lol Something always screws it up, eh? But I think the wife always ever knows.
      Thank you for your kind words, Ivy!

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  22. Wonderful beginning!!! Wasn't expecting the ending. Talk about love going way wrong. Great take.

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    1. Haha Yeah, I had a real handle on this prompt... Thank you so much, Donetta!

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  23. I love this, Kymm. Her sighs choked to a gasp. Damn, I know that kind of moment and you captured it so perfectly. Plus reading the comment thread here was a great way to start my morning. :)

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    1. I'm really glad that moment came through. And pleased you enjoyed the thread, too. Thanks so much for the love, Momo!

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  24. What a bastard. At least I take it, from her chokes and gasps, that she didn't know. I admire how you move from so loving and tender to shocks and endings so fluidly.

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    1. Naw, she didn't know. Prolly coulda, but didn't. It's so nice to hear it moves smoothly : ) Thank you, Sarah!

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    1. Glad you liked it. Thank you so much, Ashley!

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  26. I agree about the ending. It was great. I was impressed with your writing. In just a few words, you captured the horror of discovering a truth about someone you care for.

    I don't why I thought of this, but a long time ago, I used an online dating site. To my dismay so did a lot of men who were not really free to date. It wasn't fun when they came calling and you had to learn to watch out for them!

    This was a very good read. Thanks!

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    1. I always suspected that about online dating. Good to know.
      Thank you so much for your kind words, Sara! I'm pleased you enjoyed it.

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  27. 33 words packed with meaning and emotion

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  28. Tears before bedtime for sure.

    You have a lot of story packed into those few words Kymm.

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    1. Hmmm tears before and after bedtime?
      Thank you so much, Steve!

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  29. Gah! Schmuck. This piece definitely provoked a reaction! Totally got my dander up. :) Nice job.

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    1. Sorry to get your dander up. Not really, though. Kinda psyched : ) Thanks, Christine!

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  30. A poor excuse of a man-hope she kicked his butt to way beyond!! Excellent writing Kymm-loved it :-)

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    1. Ha! You would have had her pulling a switchblade out of her purse, I bet. Thanks for the love, Atreyee!

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  31. Wife and girlfriend should both dump him.

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    1. The should, probably, but they rarely do. Thanks for visiting, Sonia!

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  32. Replies
    1. Ha! Wrong? Yes. Uncommon? Not so much. Thanks so much, MTO!

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  33. Well crafted. Strong sentence structure and clear word choice brought about a powerful image. With a damn good twist.

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    1. I'm so pleased you think so. Thank you very much, TT!!

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