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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

A Dabbler's Tale


Artists call them happy accidents. A blob of cobalt blue grabs onto the paintbrush when you were dipping into the cerulean, turns into an awesome lake below that Provençal sky, and rocks the watercolor landscape. Never mind that you were going abstract. The painting has a life of its own.

So it is when this guy you have lined up for a quick fuck turns out to be Prince Charming. You make a grab for the red lace but end up with a maternity bra and elastic-waist undies. Mortgage, braces, college tuition. You wish you could say you’d had it planned, but we all know you just caught a lucky break. And of course you flaunt it. Who wouldn’t? Only someone who’d actually deserved it would be humble and self-effacing. Not you. In your face, betches.

Now, and here’s the unforgiveable part, you’ve bought it, hook, line and sinker. Benevolent universe bestows wealth of love and inner peace upon walking disaster. What’s not to love? So you begin fiddling with the cornerstones of your life, changing the very shape of your existence to reflect this incomprehensible gift. It’s scary, but Prince Charming is right next to you, laughing his ass off, setting out the cement mixer and stacking up the bricks.

You forget about the things artists don’t mention. Some are called Canvas in the Fireplace or Manuscript in the Toilet. Others have headlines like Barbiturates in the Vodka or Razorblades in the Bath. Prince Charming’s oncologist called it the Luck of the Draw. You can call it anything you want, though. It’s still just the fat lady singing.

So, the landscape you were painting goes all abstract on you. The sky that’s supposed to be cerulean turns a yellow paisley, and the lake you want to drown in skates away, leaving skid marks on the checkerboard floor. When all you ever hear anymore is one long, sad aria, there’s nothing left to do but yawp that fat bitch off the fucking stage.
 
 
 

46 comments:

  1. Kymm! Raw, brilliant. The story of so many artists I know, and for some reason, especially women. Perhaps it is that societal pressure to "take care of things." The canvas in the fireplace took my breath from me, just envisioning that waste of talent. Then, the behavioral comments, like the vodka and the razor blades, even more extreme. Startling, evocative. Shit, I'm running out of superlatives. Ok, one more, courtesy of my daughter Riley: Fuckin' awesome. Amy

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    1. I'm glad it spoke to you so profoundly, Amy.

      Thank you so much for all the superlatives, and for Riley's! <3

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  2. I love this. Have I thanked you lately for being a part of our community?

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    1. Ooh, I love the love.
      You're welcome. I can't tell you how much that sentiment means to me right now.
      Thank you for building such an awesome community. <3

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  3. I loved this piece. The highs and the lows, the ups and the downs, the exhilaration and the despair. And this line: fiddling with the cornerstones of your life, changing the very shape of your existence to reflect this incomprehensible gift and the maternity underpants, of course. That bit made me laugh out loud.

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    1. Again, I'm loving the love.
      I'm so glad you laughed at the maternity undergarments. Otherwise it would have been just too pathetic. lol.
      Thanks so much, Kelly!

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  4. Powerful piece, with a thread of tragedy emerging. Good work.

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    1. No matter how light I try to keep it, tragedy has its way with me!
      Thank you, Sandra!

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    1. Wow. I'm duly flattered. Thank you, Ted!

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  6. Wow - raw indeed! Sing it, Kymm - I love it - heartfelt and passionate.

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    1. Ohhh, love the love. That fat lady will get you the minute you stop singing...
      Thank you so much, Steph!

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  7. Never mind that you were going abstract. The painting has a life of its own.

    Fantastic line. Great piece.

    (RogRites)

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  8. This one is the winner-at least in my book. You set it on fire from the first sentence, and it was still on fire by the end. Wow, and well done.

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    1. So pleased you think so. Thank you, Valerie!

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  9. Such rawness, such angst, told in such an irreverent voice. I loved this! Bravo.

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    1. More love! I enjoy irreverent voices, puritan that I was supposed to be. Thanks, Tina!

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  10. Hides in corner bowing to the High Priestess of Words and Creativity. Erm in other words fecking WOW Kymm!

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    1. Hahahahahaha. Me as High Priestess. Hahahahaha. But I am flattered. Thank you, Rambly!

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  11. Holy fuck I almost fell out of my chair laughing and then crying - that was AWESOME - you rock it this week girl!!

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    1. Oohhhh, I like awesome, too. Really glad it rocked you, Sam. Thanks!

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    2. I had to come back and reread this isthe best thing I've red any where - the voice is priceless and frantic and controlled it's just brilliant.

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    3. Your returning to comment again is a thrill. Thank you so much, Sam.

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  12. This was an understandable-abstract piece! And I guess artists and authors are very much alike.
    I read this yesterday but couldn't comment as I was in a rush. Anyhoo, great post!

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    1. Glad it was understandable for you. Thanks, Habiba!

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  13. Utterly brilliant series of images leading from fortuitous chance to the cynicism born of sacrificing dreams for motherhood. Seriously though, that child and husband must have driven the artist to distraction and utter despair. Like the fat lady being dragged off the stage at the end; so many mothers seem to think they're fat.

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    1. Just because my kids often read these, I'll point out that the child and husband are and were well loved, in no way drivers to distraction or despair.

      The fat lady: not because she's fat, but because "it's not over until the fat lady sings".

      Glad you liked the images. Thanks for reading, Imaginator!

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  14. This is brilliant. I love the hard edge to it.

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    1. I'm mostly hard edges, Draug, but thanks for the love!

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  15. This one hits you right between the eyes, taking no prisoners.

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    1. What in the world would I do with prisoners?
      Thanks, Tara.

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  16. I am totally in awe of your extraordinary writing skills Kymm-no words can do justice to what I felt on reading this magnificent piece-it speaks volumes about life & its uncertainties!Hats off to you my dear!

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    1. You are too kind, Atreyee, but I'm glad you enjoyed the read. Thank you!

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  17. I love how you toss all those well chosen words in our faces. Great, emotional writing about the conflicts and demands. I relate.

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    1. Glad you related, lumdog. Thanks for the love!

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  18. Terrific, complete portrait of a life that is more complex that anyone can imagine. Well done, Kymm.

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    1. They are all complex, though, aren't they? Thank you, Tom!

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  19. Wow! So profound.. I think it happens with most of us, when we look back and say - 'what was that!'. Loved your piece.

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    1. Thanks so much for the love, Miss M!

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  20. This needs to be read aloud - it feels like a a stage piece, a monologue. Fantastic, strong voice here. Wonderful job.

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    1. Glad it hit you like that, Christine. Thanks so much!

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  21. this works really well. As you probably know, I love flash pieces with a strong & repeating central image and this one works particularly well I think

    marc nash

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    1. Funny you should say that; I kept veering off on metaphorical tangents, then had to go back and cut them out.
      Thank you so much, marc!

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