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Monday, June 16, 2014

One Heart Breaking


Splinters rasp. Pancreas.
The word cracks
it open.
The surgeon’s voice echoes
months
in a thunderclap
straight down the middle.
Your last sigh, exhaled,
broke it forever.
Yet, listen. Days like today
I can hear it
sounds like pebbles
at the seashore.

 Pep  13/8/66 - 16/6/03
Always for you, Pep.  143
gargle166          Answer #14 was also           

48 comments:

  1. " sounds like pebbles
    at the seashore." You always take it to a different level, Kymm! Great piece, dear.

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    1. You are very kind, TIZ. Thank you!

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  2. A gut punch. That is what this was. You are awesome, Kymm!

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    1. Ha You are so hardcore, Tina, if you parry a gut punch with an awesome : )
      Thank you!!

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  3. "echoes months in a thunderclap", that's exactly how it sounds.
    Beautiful words for a painful loss

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    1. Hope it's getting lighter to carry him in your heart, Kir < 3
      Thank you!

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  4. " Days like today
    I can hear it
    sounds like pebbles
    at the seashore." - my most favorite line now~

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    1. Thank you, Archita, that's so sweet!

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  5. I love so many things about this...I can hear individual words: pancreas, months. I can hear the sigh and the thunderclap and the sea. The last image is beautiful, but maybe my favorite line is: "Yet, listen." It keeps the "you" of the poem close. Fine, fine, fine work.

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    1. Thank you for the love, Jennifer! It's wonderful to hear what works, and what stays with others : )

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  6. Such a beautiful description of loss, Kymm. Excellent work, my friend. :)

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  7. Brutal and lovely, Kymm. Great job.

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    1. Glad to hear it. Thank you, Christi!

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  8. A powerful and vivid sharing of loss so well depicted in so few words.

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    1. Sharing the loss lightens the burden, so they say. Thank you, CC!

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  9. "your surgeons voice echoes months in a thunderclap straight down the middle"

    wah. that line. that's brilliant. love this.

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    1. Thanks for the love, Soapie! Glad you liked it.

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  10. This truly was heartbreaking, not just because of its title, but because of the emotions it evoked in me. Lately, I am so mindful of the brevity of life, and this piece brings it to the forefront.

    God bless you for the powerful emotions you awakened.
    Cheryl

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    1. Sorry if it touched close to home. Thank you, Cheryl!

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  11. Is it me, or does it make sense if i read it from bottom to top as well?

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    1. Haha Read it whatever way you want, Habiba! Not sure I like it ending on pancreas, though. Such an ugly word.

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    2. ugly word,yet an essential organ. v essential. y, we only have one of it!

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    3. Yes. Only ugly because of what it meant. Hope to keep mine for a long while yet : )

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  12. This is fantastic. The pain it evokes, powerful use of words..superb!

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    1. Great to hear that. Thank you, Uma!

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  13. I can hear that 'thunderclap straight down the middle' so well!

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    1. Yeah, it's the kind of noise that's hard to miss. Thanks so much, Shailaja!

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  14. This is achingly beautiful. Every word is wonderful!

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    1. That's really lovely to hear. Thank you, silverleaf!

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  15. Very different approach...nice!

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    1. Glad you thought so. Thanks, AW!

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  16. love this, especially: "The surgeon’s voice echoes
    months
    in a thunderclap
    straight down the middle."!!

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  17. That shattering sound of a diagnosis and then of pebbles at the sea...this is so good, poignant, fragile.

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    1. So you heard the shattering, eh? Thank you so much, Meg!

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  18. Most excellent language and imagery, Kymm! I'll never look at the word pancreas the same way. It's surprising and visceral where you placed it. And the last breath/pebbles on shore metaphor is beautiful.

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    1. Your comments are like a little private prize, Nate, thank you! It's nice to hear that using 'pancreas' - a bit of a risk - worked so well : )

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  19. Replies
    1. Love the love, Susan. Thank you!

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  20. Well done Kymm - This was really great!

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    1. Thanks so much, Thom! I appreciate it.

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  21. So many sounds used to such powerful effect. I'm going to take away the pebbles though. Wonderfully written - so evocative and the pain of loss so clear.

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    1. Thanks so much, Sarah Ann! Take all the pebbles you want, there are always plenty more < 3

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  22. Yay, Kymm! Such a well-deserved editor's pick. I voted for this and am happy to see it rewarded. A really beautiful piece that resonated with me.

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    1. Thank you so much, Meg! Nice heads-up :) I'm a *sorry* it resonated with you, but glad you like it so much. *hugs*

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  23. It took me a while to fall in love with it but I definitely have. "Your last sigh, exhaled, broke it forever." Such a poignant line. The editor's made the right call.

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    1. What a lovely thing to say! Thank you so much!

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