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Thursday, November 15, 2012

Retribution [Trifecta Anniversary Challenge]

For Trifecta's 1st Anniversary, we participants were challenged to take Joules's first entry (38 italicized words), have a partner (mine is Renada Styles) add to it (100 words) and then finish it. I did so in 35 italicized words. Here is Team 10's entry to participating site Velvet Verbosity:
Retribution

Charts and optimal dates and preferential temperatures. One line or two. As if she could summon whatever it is that makes up the human soul as easily as she could a cab on a busy New York avenue.

She faced the window.
Her eyes saw infinite explication.

Her math books only examined the probability of tangibility. What of transcendence?

Yellow streaks formed cabs.
An anxious, veneer hand waved.

If it were a finite equation, the curves that lined the hand and body to the point of the nose would be defined by x and y. There would be no question of why two and two is four....

The cocoa swallowed the nutmeg's taste.
The heat rolled into the vents.

The hot chocolate she drank would taste no different to the student three seats over sipping the same.


As if she could banish the specter of truncated possibility; knock it back like some pill taken for the after effects. One cycle or two? Suck it up, spit it out, let it bleed. Expiation.

 

20 comments:

  1. i love how you ended it. your choices of words were fantastic. love it ;D

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  2. :) Your lead got me there, teammate. Thanks.

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  3. Very poetic, Kymm. But I fear you might be too smart for me. I am, in fact, a peasant. Enjoyed it.

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    1. Thanks ODNT, but I'm not too smart for you, maybe just too cryptic. Enjoyment is good.

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  4. I like the similarity to the original prompt in the second half. The whole thing is lovely!

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    1. Thanks, Draug. Glad you liked it.

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  5. This flowed so well, I had to look at Renada's to find out where she left off. Nice job on this!

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  6. This is really, really pretty writing. I enjoyed both parts so much. Thanks for linking up and helping us celebrate our first year.

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    1. Thank you so much! I loved participating in this - and thank you for randomly throwing Renada my way!

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  7. Beautifully written poetry. The two pieces fit together perfectly.

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  8. Thank you, lumdog. The tricky part is getting them to mesh, isn't it?

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  9. This is excellent! You did a great job tying it all together. I'm not sure if you wanted your character to come off this way but I could almost feel her bitterness.

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  10. This is excellent! You did a great job tying it all together. I'm not sure if you wanted your character to come off this way but I could almost feel her bitterness.

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    1. Thank you, Rachael. Bitterness was part of the equation, yeah.

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  11. Congratulations on the win. This was beautifully written.

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