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Monday, June 30, 2014

The Siren Call

When I went overboard, the shock of the cold was greater than the shock of your hand at my back. I swallowed the dark Atlantic, warmed to its voices. Keening whales sang me to her. She was tangled in your fraying halyard.


gargle167

48 comments:

  1. This is as lovely as it is haunting.

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    1. Such a nice thing to say. Thank you, Kristin!

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  2. Wow, this is so haunting and I love how you capture a dreamlike underwater world. Loved all the imagery you create but especially that Whales line. Reference to sound adds to the overall effect of the 42 words.

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    1. Great to hear what works and why! (Did you ever read Sounds of the Humpback Whale by Jodi Picoult?) Thank you so much for all that love, GD!

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  3. "swallowed the dark Atlantic" is such a beautiful, haunting line. I felt like I was under water and being lured by the song of the sea.

    Very nice Kymm. xo

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    1. Thought I'd turn the tables and swallow it instead of it me : ) So glad you were there with me, Kir. Thank you! xo

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  4. The word choices are so impressive. I liked this a lot.

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    1. Love when the words hit home, and so glad you liked it. Thanks, Lance!

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  5. Interesting...to drown, but be saved by a mermaid.

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    1. Hmmm Isn't that what mermaids do? Thanks for reading, Kathy!

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  6. I don't know what to say Kymm - it just keeps getting better. I like the idea of being directed by the song vs. being lured by the song. This is really good.

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    1. Whatever it is, you're good at saying it : ) Yeah, it started with the push and just kept going. Thank you so much, Thom!

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  7. Im not exactly sure how to interpret that last line, but the image it leaves me with is disturbing and moving. Very well done, Kymm!

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    1. Ha! Interpretation is up to the interpreter - go wherever you want with it. I'm happy to disturb and move - hehe. Thank you so much, Nate!

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  8. Anything with "halyard" is a winner for me! I love the change/contrast between "shock of the cold" and "warmed to its voices." Also, "Keening whales sang me to her" is lovely.

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    1. Exactly what Jennifer said...my comment would have been exactly that :-)

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    2. I tried out so many lines, Jennifer, but halyard really wanted to be there. Thank you so much for the love, and for picking out what you liked!

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    3. Haha, glad to have you aboard then, CC!! Thank you in equal measure : )

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  9. The Atlantic is full of secrets, isn't it? I like that you found one of them!

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    1. Hehehe Tell me you didn't put that particular one there, Tina. xo

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  10. This is gorgeous, dreamy, ethereal. So well done. I especially loved this line: the shock of the cold was greater than the shock of your hand at my back. It says so much with such clarity.

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    1. Ooohhh I'm loving your qualifiers. Nothing like clear-sighted readers, either : ) Thanks for the love, Meg!

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  11. I love swallowing the dark Atlantic. Very cool write!

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    1. Mmmm Thank you for the love, Susan!

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  12. Wow - So many elements I love. The imagery of warming and the keening whale was wonderful. You do have an understanding of the ocean and boats.

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    1. Yeah, I was brought up to be a sailor, but don't have the pockets for it. So glad you enjoyed this. Thanks for the love, Ann!

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  13. Kymm, this is a beautiful piece. Each line has a treasure to hold on to and your choice of language is perfection.

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    1. Such lovely things to say. Thank you so much, Jo-Anne!

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  14. Eerie... siren song in the ocean is haunting :)

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  15. I love the physical feelings you give to this one!

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    1. Great to hear; I wrote it physical. Thanks for the love, Soumyaa!

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  16. I like the detail about the cold water being more shocking than the hand in this haunting little story.

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    1. S'all in the details, innit? Thank you, Marcy!

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  17. This is so dark and beautiful. I can hear the whales' songs now.

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    1. That's just what we aim for, right? So glad it got to you. Thanks, April!

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  18. "I swallowed the dark Atlantic" - now that's a hell of a line!

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    1. All of it, every bit of it! Haha Thank you, Marc!!

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  19. I too liked the line about swallowing the dark Atlantic. (I had to look up "halyard" though...)

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    1. Thank you, amharte! Guessing you don't sail : )

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  20. Wow, so much in so few words!

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  21. Loved this line: "I swallowed the dark Atlantic, warmed to its voices."

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  22. This feels to me a bit of murder and mayhem, a cold acceptance of the death to come. I like it.

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    1. Glad you can feel it, and that you like it. Thank you so much, Jon!

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