[Sounds better when read aloud]
Hello,
sixty-five-year-old me.
I wonder if
you recognize your own voice. I know you won’t remember having done this. How
impressed am I over this technological feat of mine? Have I hung up on myself
yet?
I assume
you’re standing at the front window while you listen to this message. Is it
arrogant of me to assume I’m still alive? There’s no particular reason why I
shouldn’t continue on this earth, in this house, at this number. But if the
past five years have taught me anything, it would be how fragile life is. How
tenuous our hold on it. I can see me nodding my head. We still understand each
other. Good.
I was going
to wish me a happy retirement. Wishing me a happy birthday might be just
another kick in the pants, right? But I doubt I’m anywhere near retiring. Even
if the economy has bounced back by now, I was never more than a minimum wage
kinda girl, was I?
There are
some questions I won’t ask, in case the kids want to hear this later. I know
you know what I mean, and I hope I’m answering with a smile. If so, then I’m
glad I called. I hope I’ve found some more people to love. I know it’s tough.
Still, I hope.
No need to
ask about the kids. Those worries are always the same, aren’t they, and they
never stop, do they?
What was so
important that it had to come back and bite me fifteen years later? I guess I want
to make sure that I finally got my act together. After all the mortgage
payments and school books, all the career moves and trips to the dentist, have
I found time for me? To do what I always wanted to do? If not, it’s okay. I
want to remind you that there’s still time.
Have you allowed
yourself the time to create that work of art? You know you have it in you. You
can still feel it, I’m sure. Have you sat down, one entire day after another,
and let it wash over you, under you, around you until you can feel it move you?
Did you buy
the divan I dream of? The plush burgundy one that’s just as suited to being
softly ravished upon as to reading?
Did you line
the hall in shelving to hold all the books, or are they still in towering
columns crowding the chair and desk, waiting for the right moment to topple in
and imprison me forever?
Do I still
want sometimes so desperately to be gently ravished?
Have I
finished the Complete Works of Shakespeare?
Am I acting
my age?
Have I lost
my eyesight? God I hope not. Scary thought. Sorry.
I can’t seem
to formulate the questions I thought I needed to ask. I’m standing here by the
window, wondering why I needed to call. I guess I want to make sure I’m okay,
in case I’m feeling that there’s no one left. In case we never did get over
him. In case things turned out worse than I expected. If that’s the case, I’m
sorry. In that case, I do know what you’re going through.
We’ve been
here before. You’ll get through it. I’m persevering.
I hope I’m
still drinking. If so, have one on me. I’ll be having one on you later.
Bye now, and
please take care of yourself. I’ve got another twenty good years in me yet.
Okay. Bye.Here's the winning story: http://www.npr.org/2013/03/09/173873714/three-minute-fiction-the-round-10-winner-is
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