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Saturday, March 23, 2013

May 4, 1971

Cross-legged on the patio after recess, they sit in a circle and chant: ‘Hell no, we won’t go!’
Mr. Parker cringes in embarrassment over the sixth-grade rebellion, loath to remember his brother in the Asian rain.
 
This time  want 33 words plus these 3: remember, rain, rebellion.
 

50 comments:

  1. Oh wow, Kymm. This is fantastic! The contrast is so striking and says so much in those few words.

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    1. So glad you like it. Took me all day fiddling with it to decide it worked as it was, more or less.
      Thanks so much, Suzanne!

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  2. Wow - what a great, poignant picture you paint here.

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  3. You got my vote. This is absolutely EXCELLENT. Wow. Wonderful. This is my favorite one so far. I really like this one. What imagery, such emotion in so few words. Wow. This is really good.

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    1. Wow, thank you so much, Scriptor. Glad you liked it.

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  4. Poignant is a perfect word for this. I love the last line, well done.

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  5. Excellent, Kymm. I had to read a few more times... a lot said in those few words... and good use of the three given.

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  6. This packs a punch. An important punch. Well done.

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    1. But I'm the non-violent type! lol Thanks, Rangewriter!

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  7. as they say less is more....so much more.

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    1. Glad to provoke your thoughts. Thanks, Vanessa!

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  9. "...his brother in the Asian rain."

    Pure eloquence!

    And every year at the local Veteran's Day parade, when I see those men, my heart is so full of emotion I feel like it will break.

    This was stunning!

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    1. Yeah, all wars are sucky, but that one was the suckiest.
      Thank you so much, Valerie!

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  10. An interesting parallel between the two times...This piece is very good.

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    1. A bit before your time, Draug! Thank you!

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  11. Wow. That packed a big punch to the gut. So very well done.

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    1. Don't mean to be punchin no guts...
      Thank you, lumdog!

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  12. Well done! The last line is a zinger. Very engaging!

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  13. What a beautiful piece-loved the last line-so full of emotion!

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  14. The last line brings it home!

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  15. A sudden sock to the gut for poor Mr. Parker. This was very well done!

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    1. I swear I'm not the violent type... Thank you, Tina!

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  16. A brilliant revelation of a different perspective. We all have our own filters.

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    1. It's all the filters!
      Thank you so much, Kim! (and I like your name)

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  17. "Hell no we won't go" ... love geat use of the prompts Kymm :)

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  18. Wow. A dose of perspective, for certain.

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    1. Perspective can only do so much...
      Thanks for reading, Cameron!

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  19. Can imagine when you feel that something so important is happening elsewhere and you are dealing with mundane issues.

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    1. Or when the important stuff surfaces in the midst of your mundanity.
      Thanks for reading, Sini!

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  20. Relativities. I loved this piece.

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  21. Yes. Thank you for the love, Kelly!

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  22. I deal with this all the time. Known as an anti-war activist, yet shaking the hands of all vets and active-duty troops, thanking them for their service. My first sit-in was in high school. I knew some teachers had kids serving, and I NEVER spat on anyone coming back from Nam, because I thought they were the ones who had slogged through the mud and managed to survive. It's their bosses, the war profiteers, I always have a problem with.

    You captured, in 33 plus 3 words, a moment of awkwardness for the teacher. You nailed it, babe. Amy

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    1. Guess I touched a nerve, Amy! Thanks for the comment (and the praise).

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