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Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Afterwards

Abby ducked into the shaded portico two steps before she succumbed to heat stroke. Five minutes early to collect Joy, she was again reduced to scanning the activity board: ‘Need a babysitter? Call Judy!’ and a phone number she would never remember.
There was a prickling at the back of her neck a second before the past touched her arm, said: Hello, Abby. She looked down at the fingers on her wrist, wanting to vaporize them, wanting to bare her teeth and rip that bit of skin right off.
No one but Joy was allowed to touch her now.

This weekhave given us a page from the Oxford English Dictionary. The ninety-ninth page to be exact.
From this page, we can choose any word, any definition, to use in our post. (Chosen word in bold, so they know.) And instead of their typical 33-333 word limit, they are asking for 99 words exactly.
They are also shooting for 99 entries, using a randomly bestowed $99 gift card as incentive.
This week's challenge is community judged. Enter here. Don't forget to go back and vote!

Después
Abby llegó a la sombra del pórtico dos pasos antes de sucumbir a un golpe de calor. Quedaban cinco minutos hasta recoger a Joy; se puso a revisar una vez más el tablón de anuncios: “¿Necesitas canguro? ¡Llama a Judy!” Ese número que jamás recordaría.
Se le erizaban los pelos de la nuca un segundo antes de que el pasado le tocara el brazo diciendo: Hola, Abby. Miró los dedos que descansaban sobre su muñeca. Quiso pulverizarlos, quiso enseñar los dientes y arrancar de cuajo ese trozo de piel.
No consentía que nadie más que Joy le tocara ahora.

52 comments:

  1. Oh your stories always take me on a very fast roller coaster ride, and I'm breathless at the end.
    That last line was awesome, it said everything.

    hope you're having a good week Kymm.

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    1. Glad you enjoy the ride.
      Thank you for the awesome, Kir.
      Busy week - hope you have a good one, too.

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  2. Oh, boy! That last line makes me want more. So much more!!! Great write, kymm!

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    1. Ha! There's plenty more where that came from, just not sure I am ready to dig it out.
      Thanks for the encouragement, Gina!

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  3. A second before the past touched her arm - Great line.

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    1. Ha - glad you liked it, Kelly. Thanks!
      Changing that noun has made all the difference.

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  4. A great read - left me wanting more.

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    1. Glad you enjoyed it, Mike. Thanks for commenting.

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  5. Brilliant - so much suspense and emotion in so few words. Great job!

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    1. So glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the brilliant, Momo!

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  6. You had me wondering who is the past, that her reaction would be so extreme. Great buildup!

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    1. Ha! You don't wanna know. But I'm glad you felt the extreme.
      Thanks so much, Tina!

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  7. I get the sense he was very, very bad, this past who is touching her wrist. I'm glad she has Joy:)

    Gripping Kymm. I wouldn't say no to more of the story too:)

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    1. Your sense is spot on.
      the story comes out in bits and pieces.
      this is one of the ugly bits.
      Happy to grip you, Valerie. Thanks!

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  8. A powerful reaction. I definitely want to read more too.

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    1. Glad it came across as powerful (as opposed to loony tunes, for example).
      Thanks so much, Tara!

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  9. Wow, gripping Kymm. No one was allowed to touch her now.. how the mind reels...

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    1. Ohhh, I like gripping. Thanks so much, Steph!

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  10. I wish this was a 333-word week :) I also like the line about the past touching her arm. Though I don't know what the past is, it's obvious she doesn't want to see it again.

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    1. What a sweet wish, Janna! Thank you.

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  11. This made me very anxious! Wonderfully unsettling post!

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    1. Hope you found somewhere to unwind!
      Thank you, Mel, and thanks for powering through the anxiety!

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  12. This is so well written - you've encapsulated an entire story in such a short piece. You got just enough detail to keep us holding our breaths. Nice job!

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    1. Oh no, please breathe again, Christine!
      Thank you so much. I'm very glad to hear you enjoyed it.

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  13. and the next 99 words... please.
    (RogRites)

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    1. Ha! The next 99 may need to be ripped out with teeth.
      Thanks, Rog!

      Delete
  14. "A second before the past touched her arm" - that was my favorite as well. There is so much here in so few words. Wow!

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    1. Glad you have a favorite : ) Thanks so much, Kristin!

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  15. "..wanting to bare her teeth and rip that bit of skin right off."Oh boy!Intense emotions at play here-loved that Kymm!An amazing ending a s well:-)

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    1. Glad you got a bit of intense emotion, and that you enjoyed it.
      Thanks so much, Atreyee!

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  16. I need more words please...you hooked me.

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    1. How to resist a man who says please? Not sure if the words will come, though.
      Thanks, Lance!

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  17. Well done, but I want to ear the rest of the story...I think.

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    1. Best make sure before committing to the rest.
      Thanks, Joanne!

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  18. I want to HEAR...the rest of the story. My keyboard is temperamental tonight!

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    1. Hate that you can't edit comments. But I got it the first time : )

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  19. "There was a prickling at the back of her neck ..."

    I was captivated from this point on. Such a gripping piece. This is just cruel. You HAVE to give us more!

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    1. Haha Now, see? I know that you are perfectly capable of filling it in yourself. lol
      Thanks, Ivy!

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  20. A snag of a definitive emotion. Well explicated and certainly entices the reader!

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    1. Thank you, Renada! So love it when you're around. And very stylish #99!

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  21. This is so good, so many twists of phrase in a short snippet. I loved this.

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    1. Thank you so much for the love, Tri!

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  22. Replies
    1. Haha - it was actually extremely warm - lol
      Thanks, Björn!

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  23. Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed the ride. Love the wow.
      Thanks so much, Michael!

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  24. So yours was another one where I actually needed to stop myself, and begin reading again just so I could fully appreciate what you were doing. Beautifully done!

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  25. Good thing they're short, eh?
    Thank you for the appreciation, troy!

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