He takes his time. The buttons on his combed-cotton dress shirt are tended to on an individual basis. He slides one neatly through its button hole, caresses each smooth polished side before moving on to the next. His shirts last forever.
He pays attention. Her hair is usually worn up in a careful bun. The color is natural, highlights from the summer sun dance under the soft light he has turned on with a deliberate motion. He pulls his hand away from the lamp slowly, lingering.
He stays focused. The spot behind her ear where he whispers receives most of his attention, his breath briefly hot and his lips close. He can and will return there. He is not easily distracted.
He thinks ahead. A plate is arranged with two different cheeses, strips of finely cured Spanish ham and a thick slice of home-made quince. A baguette sits on the counter. He uncorks the wine in one smooth motion.
He goes for broke. He once dated a girl who used to make fun of him. Jeer. On one occasion she went so far as to blow a raspberry and boo.
“What?” she asks.
“Boo,” he says. He hangs his head.
In a finale to the Halloween run up, here are 200 words for
including:
boo 3 (verb) to show dislike or disapproval of someone or something by shouting “Boo” slowly
including:boo 3 (verb) to show dislike or disapproval of someone or something by shouting “Boo” slowly
'13 Untitled (Sally) 51,668;
'12 Barcelona Clash 51,878;
'11 Mojo Madness 52,793;
'10 Changing Directions 53,400;
'09 Daybreak 56,565;
'08 Vacant 52,486
This is killer prose, Kymm - I love how the finer details are reflected here - tending every button, making his shirts last forever, the small space behind ear where his words rest..
ReplyDeleteWhoa, thank you for the love, TIZ!
DeleteI also appreciate your picking out the bits that speak to you.
Whoa! The smooth operator isn't quite as smooth as he wants to be. Excellent work here!
ReplyDeleteHaha They so rarely are...
DeleteThanks so much, Tina!
Aww,poor lamb!Hope this time,he will hear only coos:-)Beautiful layers in this piece,loved it Kymm:-)
ReplyDeleteHahaha coos. Sweet, Atreyee. Thanks for the love!
DeleteHe does seem so suave until the end, and he shows his vulnerability.
ReplyDeleteI'm still rootin' for him, Tara! You never know.
DeleteI can see how excessive attention to detail could be unattractive. Very well written prose. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the love, Pratibha!
DeleteGreat sense of being there, the mood. I liked how you moved from the perfect to the flaw in the description. Good job.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Ann! Glad you liked it.
DeleteThis is lovely, Kymm. It actually reminds me of a date I went on once. Canoe ride to a deserted little island. Picnic blanket. Baguette. Cheese. Chilled white wine--I never even noticed the cooler. Strawberries. Chocolate. It was our first and last date. Creeped me right the hell out. :-) Thanks for linking up, Kymm. I always look forward to reading your posts.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tri!
DeleteThat's a riot about your date - bet you got home relieved you hadn't been mass murdered or something.
It is very nice to hear that you look forward to reading my stuff. *blush* *grin stupidly*
I'm embarrassed to show up so late to this lovely post Kymm, but I wanted to comment anyway. This reminds me of those guys and girls who are the unpopular kids in high school, but then leave those awkward years behind and often make more of themselves later in life than the popular kids. Still, those old ghosts are hard to shake. I'm rooting for him too:)
ReplyDeleteAw, never be embarrassed to show up here, girlfriend! What's late, anyway?
DeleteThis guy... I was kinda caught between him being a diamond-in-the-rough type or just a clueless loser. I'm rooting for him too, though!
Thanks for coming here, Valerie, early, late, or right on time!