The housing complex was
dark and silent, as befit the suburban dead of night. Angie slipped into the apartment
and felt her slow, careful way to the bedroom. She crouched down to make sure
it was Javi’s shoulder she touched. She breathed his name. When he grunted back,
she whispered.
‘Mind if I sleep here
tonight?’
Javi flung the sheet
back over the two boys sprawled between him and his wife. He patted the
mattress at his hip.
‘Climb in,’
In the pitch-black
bedroom, Angie felt a sudden rush of color burn her cheeks.
‘No, gracias.’ She smiled.
“I’ll just crash on the sofa.’
She crept back to the
living room and stood looking out over the moonlit garden.
‘Here’s a sheet,’ said
Javi behind her, making her jump. She turned to watch him drape it over the
couch. When he straightened, she also saw that he was buck naked.
‘That’s okay, Javi,
thanks. Get back to sleep.’ She felt the flush return to her face as she sat
down and poked at a cushion.
‘You okay?’ Javi
asked. ‘What’s going on?’ He reached to squeeze her shoulder.
‘I’m fine. I’ll tell
you about it in the morning.’ She glanced back at him, saw his penis drooping
before her and waved him off.
‘Sorry about this,’
she said and lay down.
‘No problem.’ Javi
yawned and turned to leave. ‘See you in the morning.’
333 words for including
color (noun) 3: complexion tint: a : the tint characteristic of good health b : blush
It's great what you don't tell us about these two characters. Very interesting details. I'd like to read more of this story. Well done.
ReplyDeleteGlad you think so, lumdog, thanks!!
DeleteThis sounds complicated! A wife and two kids, and then there's the drooping aspect, as well;) That can't be good...
ReplyDeleteI'd like to know more too!
I was hoping the title would simplify things... Nobody likes drooping, do they? haha
DeleteThanks for reading, and for your imput, Valerie!
Interesting details to a intriguing start to a story. It definitely made me want to know more about these characters.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm. I was hoping if you read it enough it would begin to make sense. Maybe I didn't end it enough.
DeleteThanks for reading, Tara! The comments always help.
How intriguing can you get? What's going on? Javi asks. Yes, I'd like to know. All those details to decipher. I hope you continue this in another entry.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm. I tried to tie it up. Wish the title and a reread had done the trick. Ah, well, next time!
DeleteThanks so much for you imput, Steph!
lol...color me confused about THAT relationship. It kept me interested though!
ReplyDeletehahaha Love that comment. Glad you were interested. Thanks, Maggie!
DeleteNothing worse than a drooping penis.
ReplyDeleteHahaha I'm not even gonna go there, Sam!!!
DeleteThe 'drooping' detail made me color a bit, haha! Like the other commenters, I'm intrigued by their relationship.
ReplyDeleteHaha Made Angie color a bit, too... Thanks for reading, and for your imput, Janna!
DeleteWell...that WAS intriguing! Great start!
ReplyDeleteObviously not enough finish! Thanks for reading, Pirate!
Deleteinteresting - leaves lots to the imagination
ReplyDeleteMaybe too much? Thanks for your imput, Steve!
DeleteThe comments here are fantastic.
ReplyDeleteI, too, like the way you don't introduce us to the characters other than to plop us right in the middle of it. This is nicely done.
Aren't the comments great?! I like plopping in the middle. Thanks, Tri!
DeleteThis is an interesting flash of what I hope is a larger story!
ReplyDeleteIt is larger in my head, but wasn't meant to be here. Appreciate your imput. Thanks, Draug!
DeleteHow wonderfully awkward for everyone except Javi. I too loved what wasn't said, the implication of all that had happened that night and what might still happen.
ReplyDeleteYup, the awkward was what took me there... Thanks for the love, Jennifer!
Deletewell, you kept me guessing from beginning to end - in a good way, of course
ReplyDeleteHaha As long as it's in a good way. Thanks, Jody!
DeleteWell I'm intensely intrigued! More please!!!
ReplyDeleteI like intense. Thanks, Gina!
DeleteSo much to take in here (and to enjoy here)! Nice story!
ReplyDeleteSo nice of you to say. Thank you, Kristin!
DeleteWonder what "deed" they both indulged in-like accomplices?;-)Does Angie harbour feelings for Javi,which he is unaware of-being happily married(more like domesticated stupor?)so that even being naked in her presence means nothing to him-more like she is just a "buddy"?Maybe she was trying to get him out of her system-so had been out with another guy & it did not work out-so she crept back to his house in the middle of the night-to find comfort/solace?Lots of possibilities -loved this unusual tale Kymm-looking forward to reading more:-)
ReplyDeleteWell, you certainly seem to have got plenty out of this little tale. Does my writer's heart good.
DeleteThanks so much for your careful reading, Atreyee!
Very good one! I like the fact that Javi doesn't seem to be bothered walking around naked.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why, but I associate it with generous people. Also, complete sense of turf.
DeleteGlad you liked it, and thanks Joe2!
I agree with Mr. joe2, that was my favorite part, he was all 'sup no big i'm naked with my family, very cosmopolitan ;)
ReplyDeleteYeah, and she's all omg close my eyes, go away. haha Thanks for your input, Shannon!
DeleteI really enjoyed this, her professional wall-climb, Javi and his casual machismo... I also enjoyed the comments. You've twisted us all up!
ReplyDeleteOooooh I think I like getting peeps in a twist.
DeleteSo glad you enjoyed both the story and the comments. Thanks, Bianca!
Interesting. Obviously Javi leads a full and interesting life!
ReplyDeleteEither that or he has an easily accessible home. haha
DeleteThanks, Tina!
Javi is so cool and unflustered. I would love to read more about these two!
ReplyDeleteIsn't he, though. Thanks for your interest, Sarah!
DeleteA little bit of mystery... hmm why would he suggest sleeping between his children and wife? Why does he get a..... well you know... why is she there... that's it Kymm leave us dangling like his p....
ReplyDeleteMystery appears to be my fault. When she asked if she could sleep there, he just opened the covers for her to climb in. I meant it to be a sleepy parental reaction - the kids were already in there.
ReplyDeleteCertainly didn't mean to leave anyone dangling...
Thanks for your visit and comments, Jenny!