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Sunday, April 21, 2013

Prey

Adrenaline rush of the century. Like a charge of electricity, it pushes me through suburban yards. Heart pounding, my lungs burn. Hidden under a musty tarp. Feeling lost. Jaws snap at my ankles. Night falls howling.
 
This weekend  wants our usual 33, plus charge, century, lost.
 
Everytime I heard or read the word "pray" yesterday, I thought of "prey". I am not a religious person.
 

39 comments:

  1. This feels like it was written in the voice of that Dzhokhar guy or whatever his name is. The bomber guy. Feels like we're getting into his head.

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    1. Kinda like the way he got into my head. Thanks for the visit, scriptor!

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  2. This creeped me out in a good way. I like how brave you wrote. good piece.

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    1. Thanks for that, Lance. It was scary to find myself writing it.

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  3. Very cool. I like the last line.

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    1. Thanks, Draug. I really needed that last line.

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  4. Wow. Am watching 48 Hours and reading this. You nailed it.

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    1. Thank you, Maggie!
      Had to google 48 Hours. Investigative show as opposed to comedy, I'm guessing.

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    1. Glad you think so. Thanks, Ruby!

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  6. Oh yes! You've captured the shear hell of this!

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    1. Haha, captured. Yes. Thank you, Linda!

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  7. What crossed my mind as I read this was the old saying that a person reaps what they sow. Excellent piece!!

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    1. Telepathy. Kinda like what was going thru my head as I wrote it.
      Thank you, Valerie!

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  8. This is fantastic Kymm! So intense. Such a great job with the topic. I, too, love that last line.

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    1. I love the love. Thanks so much for your lovely comments, Suzanne!

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  9. Oh, that last line did it for me too! Nice job!

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    1. Glad you liked it. Thanks, Renee!

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  10. I don't feel sorry for the Boston bomber; it is too cruel what he did and if he was an intelligent person he had a choice.. I do know that is what he felt. I do think he and his brother were naive enough to think they could get away with it which disgusts me as well.
    This is a good piece. One thing about the actions of other people, it does help you write from another point of view.

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    1. I don't feel sorry for him either. He fucked with my city, my home. I was scared for my family and friends. I'm less than six degrees from two of the people he killed. Just so we're clear.
      That said, I was as surprised as anybody that I wrote this piece. In the end, we're all human. In the end, what keeps us different from the beasts, is our capacity to feel.
      Thank you, Ann! Sorry for the rant.

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    2. Understood, after I posted that I did wonder how it sounded. I don't usually go back to posts. You did a great job capturing his panic. He was scared.

      There is a piece of me that looks at his 19 year old face and feels sympathetic. Maybe his brother took advantage of him.
      Then I think about what he and his brother did. Selfish beasts.

      Your work is really good in that the bombing has made most of us so angry. You were able to flesh out something besides the anger.

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    3. I'm glad you came back.
      It's gonna take a while for us to process the whole thing, so it's good to talk about it.
      I've had enough senselessness in my life to not care anymore about why, to have stopped looking for answers. Too busy dealing. And anger doesn't usually take me anywhere I wanna be.
      Thanks again, Ann!

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    1. Hmm, I thought so too. Thanks, though! or better yet, Merci beaucoup.

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  12. Kymm,this is exceptional!You captured the essence of that fiend totally-this should make the top 3 this weekend:-)

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    1. Glad you liked it. You are too kind, but thank you, Atreyee!

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  13. Timely, creepy in a good creative way) and extremely well done!

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    1. Creepy in a good way. hahaha Could apply that to myself on occasion...
      Thank you so much, Gina!

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  14. Nice job! I could feel the closed-in feeling. The jaws snapping at ankles upped the intensity.

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    1. Yeah, it was intense to write. Thank you, Janna!

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  15. This is full of fear and tension. Like this images of jaws snapping and night howling.

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    1. Glad it came across. Those images - that's what dark hopeless nights feel like to me.
      Thank you, Sarah!

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  16. Oh goodness, how eerie! The short sentences work really well.

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    1. Yes, they up the tension level, don't they? Thanks, Jess!

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  17. Excellent and timely. Many f us were wondering "what could he be thinking?" You've captured the emotion and panic. Yet you maintained a writers objectivity. Nicely done.

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    1. This was a very gut reaction, so I'm glad it was able to resonate.
      Thank you so much for your kind words, Joanne!

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  18. Very gripping shift of intense emotions from the first to the last sentence.

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