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Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Crush


   Laura had not made it home in a very long time. Her first day, she took a long walk to the beach. She was undisturbed in her reverie, the roads empty until she began to make her way back, when she recognized the only other person out on this frigid, dull gray afternoon. Her best friend from the fifth grade, the year they learned how to sew badges onto their Girl Scout sashes, was walking straight towards her. They met up at the corner of Hatherly Road. The thing that embarrassed her most about this unexpected reunion was not that she smiled so disarmingly at a stranger, but that the bewildered look she received in return was from a man.
   She was concerned that the world might have expanded beyond her ability to govern it, that her life was being scripted by a hand that was not her own. She feared she had become as delicate as a vase that could be dashed to the floor and brushed into a pile of broken ceramic pieces awaiting the crush of some cosmic, steel-tipped boot.

Also, according to Oxford Dictionary, the top 10 most frequently used nouns in English are: time, person, year, way, day, thing, man, world, life, & hand.
So I used all of them. Plus a few more.
Oh, and I tweeted "crush", too: tweet

18 comments:

  1. I was a little confused--did she actually see her friend or did she just imagine it? Because it changes the direction of the story, depending. I like that!

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    1. No, it was a small exercise on living in too many places, confusing too many faces.

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  2. liked it- the story is open-ended and is dream-like. you have soo many whys seeking answers at the end. good work :)

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    1. Thanks, rashmenon. The whys always end up winning anyway!

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  3. Interesting piece; it's so dreamlike that the encounter is as disorienting for the reader as the character. I'm curious as to what the background is here.

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    1. Background is displacement, basically. Too many moves. As Jim Morrison said, Faces come out of the rain When you're strange.

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  4. The most interesting part to me is why she imagined seeing that specific friend - what is the story between them? I liked the way you drew us into her uncertainty.

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    1. Thanks, Brian. Why not? Walk into a supermarket, pick a random face from the past. (Who the fuck is that? Where do I know her from? Or, on a deeper level, what did I ever have in common with that person?)

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  5. I liked the 'zoom in' on the vertiginous effect such a mistake can have - a simple misunderstanding, but looked at closely it has a subtle yet utter impact.

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    1. Thank you. Subtle is the way I like to go.

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  6. This was an interesting (but scary scene). There are so many blanks left to fill in, it could go anywhere, really.

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    1. Why scary, Janna? Blanks, yeah. Fortunately, you eventually get used to them.

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  7. It does seem other-worldly. Great piece (:

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  8. This feeling really resonated with me. Elegant use of the challenge elements!

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    1. Thank you, Claire. I believe we were on similar wavelengths.

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